So….. I’m a terrible blogger. I think we’ve all (i.e I’ve) come to terms with that now. I go through bursts of ‘doing it’ and then vast, empty nothingness gets done for oh HALF A MONTH.
Fortunately though, just because I haven’t been here talking about Jubbly Jive July does not mean it didn’t keep happening in ‘real life.’ I have actively maintained it and have felt pretty good about what I have been doing. And I am keeping up and building on these practices so that I can better manage these events in my life, because lets face it, I have to.
So what’s been working for me?
Firstly, maintaining a regular journaling practice has really helped. Through journaling I have been able to work through some of the bigger issues, and really start sorting my thoughts and emotional responses out. Journaling has better equipped me to be able to talk about what has been going on with those people around me who I chose to open up to. It has given me the words I need to ask for help and support. This is something I need to stay in my life, full stop.
Knitting has been really, really amazing. Not only have I learnt a new, useful skill, it is one that is slow and meditative. It can clear my mind, or at least slow it down, and that is incredibly helpful. It is also something to take a little pride in, and that’s a nice feeling (hey, it’s better than guilt!). I have also been able to knit my first ‘proper’ thing (a scarf I am knitting for myself) with a little intention and feeling; the scarf has become a manifestation of my intention to live my life in a different way. With each knit and purl and row I have thought about how I want to live my life and the person I want to be. It has given me something to turn to that is productive and creative and not destructive. It also got me to try something new, which was joining a knitting circle. I have been loving it! I found a group of knitting enthusiasts with a skill level that compliments my own and doesn’t make me feel intimidated. This is not the kind of thing I usually do, but the rewards are ten fold.
I have also made sure to spend more time in nature. I don’t know about you, but I get pretty down when I am not able to get out into nature. Even just sitting in my backyard, as I am doing now, has made a difference. (Lets just take a moment to thank the gods of wireless internet!). Lately I have been able to go to places that make me feel alive and connected and content. I got to hoop on a beach. I got to watch two Wedge Tailed Eagles soar in circles over my head. I took photos of what the early morning dew looks like on spider webs. I watched the moon rise up over the cliff face where my partner lived his childhood years. It felt great to be out there, and not stuffed up inside. I am truly thankful for these moments. They were so desperately wanted in the depths of my soul. I was able to feel refreshed after all of that!
I think, for me, Jubbly Jive July was really more like a turning point. It was the place where I stopped and said “enough!” and chose something different. It is not something that will end, but something that will develop. I think I will have it again next year, to chase away the winter blues and to remember; I choose joy. I choose to turn my back on depression. I choose to try something else. I am pretty proud of myself for that. It’s a big deal for me.
So I guess the big question now is; what next? Is my blog going to return to being a wasteland? Will I just revert back to my old habits? The answer is I don’t know. I mean, I certainly hope not. But, who can tell? I’d love to be one of these bloggers who is amazing and full of interesting stuff to post, but I think that is something I need to build up to. For now, I think I shall try to do one post a month along the lines of what I have been doing during Jubbly Jive July. This is an important journey for me to embark on, and I want to ensure it keeps happening!
As for you, little blog, I shall be back with some photos very soon (if not tonight) and a recipe this week. A recipe! I’m only going to hint at what the recipe is. First hint: it’s not for dieters. Second hint: it’s kind of evil. Third hint: it combines these things; chocolate, lollies, peanuts and marshmallows. If anyone guesses what I am talking about they will get a million brownie points. And perhaps, that terminology right there is the biggest hint yet….. 😀